There is this universal knowing in all of us: that our home, or any space really, can change the way we feel in an instant. It has this unexplainable way of piling on stress, filling us with overwhelm, or on the other hand- motivating our supreme productivity. And if I go on to describe a space that feels calm, zen, or peaceful… your mind would quickly snap to an image of a space that is undoubtedly free of clutter. Instead, most likely, with plants, big windows, clean surfaces. So we have this knowing too. We can relate these feelings to those types of spaces. And ultimately we know that we would feel good there.
But then we shake our heads and open our eyes and look around. We accept that knowing, and then simultaneously accept how things are for us in the here and now. Reluctant to believe that a clutter-free space is possible. A change in our environment is a powerful one. And these close-to-home changes happen at our edges. Right at the place where we teeter from comfort to discomfort. Change can be frightening. But it is in that place where we tiptoe over the edge to where all of that possibility hides out. It could feel uncomfortable to our core. But the other side of that same coin is what makes it all worthwhile in the end. So we have this feeling in our bodies, but what is happening in our minds that keeps us holding on? Many things play a part, however, these, in particular, get a standing ovation.
Status-Quo Bias.
Keeping things the way they are is something we can all relate to. It feels comfortable right? But let’s stretch beyond our resistance to change. We are in a culture yes? Each of us carrying a unique status or some kind of role to play. And now more than ever, it is deeply rooted that if we can have more, we will somehow be better. That, comparatively, if they have that, then we should too. So beyond keeping our spaces just as they are, we are also keeping our habits, our beliefs, our culture, just as they are. No room to question, to challenge, to change. So the next time you feel the urge to switch something up but feel those feelings of discomfort – trust that you are at an edge, and those edges are where the magic happens.
Loss Aversion.
Using the example of money, it has been researched thoroughly and proven that losing a ten-dollar bill looms on us twice as much as the opposite of finding one can make us feel good. Twice as much. This pang of negative emotion storms us in any circumstance of loss. We quite literally avoid losing things as a means to prevent that unwanted feeling from rushing into our bodies. Not only because we resist that moment of bad feeling, but also because we as humans unwillingly sit and stew on our mistakes, our errors, our losses. As some sort of unproductive, twisted punishment that gets us nowhere. So the next time you feel that pang of negative emotion when you consider donating or simplifying what is around you, get beyond it. Recognize it as our wiring, our built-in block, and trust that this too shall pass.
Endowment Effect.
It turns out that the moment we invest or make something ours there lies more weight to that decision than we ever thought. According to psychology, when we refer to something as ours, we undoubtedly value is significantly higher than that of an identical object that we are not the owners of. In a well-known study from the 90s that has been replicated over the years, two groups of experimenters were designed to represent buyers and sellers of an identical coffee mug. They were asked to put a price on how much they would pay for the mug or comparatively how much they would sell it for. And the results were surprisingly consistent: with the average selling price sitting at about twice the average buying price. So we value things more, doubly more, not because they are worth more, but because they are ours. So then it is no surprise that forgoing it can and does feel like a terrible loss. But I promise you, this letting go, is indeed like a muscle. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes and the better it feels.
So what does this tell us about our current situation with our homes full of things? It’s saying that reducing or removing is hard for a reason. That this kind of change calls for much more than just motivation. It feels like swimming upstream, because it is. In our society, we are marketed to want more, need more, have more, and keep more. And it is up to us to challenge this status-quo if we want the peace that comes with having space and the freed up time that comes with having less. Yes, we are averse to the pains of loss, and we are so strongly hardwired to hold on. Yet, we are all deserving of a home that is aligned with our current self. One that allows for an outward flow of what used to light us up and no longer does. One that embraces impermanence, growth, and change. One that is present to who you are at your best, today.
