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Why Boundaries are the First Step to Simplifying your Stuff

The world doesn’t always teach us how to create healthy boundaries. Not directly anyways. Instead we learn the hard way. Through those rocky relationships, negative emotions, and tough conversations. But when we discover that our good feelings come above everything else, we are invited to show up for ourselves and not let it feel selfish. We get to uncover a new found freedom – a sense of clarity.

Boundaries are a way of differentiating between what makes us feel good and whole and that which takes away from these things. There really is a threshold, but it can be hard to identify right away. It is found in the practice of identifying when we aren’t feeling good and when we are putting other people’s feelings ahead of our own. Acknowledging that we have the power to create our own line in the sand that protects our good feeling emotions is essential.

Now, the reason I share this is in part about our relationships with others, but also in our relationship with our stuff. We need boundaries with our stuff too. We need to be able to say, this is how much I can manage and stay on top of to keep myself feeling good at home. Because I want to feel good at home. When you think about the actual square footage of the storage you do have, and the reality in how much bandwidth actually you have room for-why wouldn’t you set a limit to the inventory within your home and all around you?

Instead of operating from a place that allows more in freely, you can set a limit and use systems to keep the flow moving outwardly as much as it flows in. If we feel like we do need or truly want a larger amount of things in our world, then we also need to be ready to let go of things from our past that are no longer serving us now.

It’s in those moments, when we let it all in, over the days and years, that it eventually does become too much. It can feel impossible, overwhelming, frustrating and exhausting-and then we accept that lower vibration as normal.. And this is our home we are talking about, our chosen place for rest and refuge.

So how do we build boundaries with our stuff?

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Less But Better Book Shelf Splash – Holistic Home Organizing, Victoria BC. Professional Organizing. Decluttering.

Set a clear intention around your “full” by using designated containers, hangers or baskets that have a limit. Make space in these areas before adding more. I like my full to be 75% of what actually appears full. I always leave a bit of space, so my things can breathe.

Have system(s) that allow easy outward flow. Instead of donation bags laying askew, intentionally create an outbox for each family member. As a place for things that no longer serve us now, to remove them from our space quickly, and be placed in a holding space that can be revisited later.

Ask: Am I choosing for me or for someone else?. Remove those judgements that creep up, and notice any feelings of resistance. Ask yourself if you are keeping something for your good feelings or if it is for the feelings of someone you care about. Remember that we as humans often put other people’s feelings ahead of our own (particularly family). We also are known to resist change and avoid the feeling of loss. Removing things from our space can feel weird and hard at first. But it does get easier, I promise.

32 Responses

  9. Your article has proven useful to me. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thanks for writing this. Some nice points there. Lynn Feliks Primrosa

    Reply

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